October 2019 ,after my blood test i received a letter from hospital ,that my prednisolone dose must be increased from 2.5mg to 5mg as my liver function was raising.Not again!!!!You must be thinking pffff only 5mg,it’s nothing!I know...i know...but this is how it starts😫My immune system was planing a party again 🤦🏼♀️
Just before Christmas my tummy started to expand.I had a weird burning and cramps.My liver side was very painful.Tummy felt so uncomfortable,but i waited...again!I just always think meh,it will go away soon🤷🏼♀️But usually it’s not,so soon after new year i had to go to hospital,to A&E.They booked the scan wich showed tiny ascites 🤯But again so little that i didn’t need diuretics just yet.Some tests was done and nothing else was found.I started to eat very light bland meals and bloating gone away in a week.Mystery!
About in a month endoscopy was booked just to check how my varices are behaving.And it showed they reappeared again!I had a nice break for about a year,time to have some problems again🤦🏼♀️Varices were to small to band tough,so my carvedilol dose was increased."But why they are growing again...why ...I cut the sugar and salt.I am eating so healthy,should i start to eat cardboard or what?"This time i felt really down for quite a few days.I felt angry,confused and helpless 😫I couldn’t understand why some people who are drinking alcohol heavily,eating junk,not exercising and still doing better than me!I know i am autoimmune,but meds should help!Life is unfair!I felt very guilty that i am ruining my family’s life!"What if i will have more complications and canot take care of myself?!What if i will be stuck in bed and they have to miss their holidays?!Will they start to hate me?!"I know all of this is not true,but i was having really hard time.However i managed to take myself in hands and felt better soon.I started to realise how fragile and precious our lives are.I think all of these problems was making me stronger and stronger.I started to look at it from a different perspective.We have to be grateful for everyday we have and being sad and feeling sorry for myself is not going to help.I had to remind myself how lucky actually i am to have such an amazing health care from NHS!I am in a safe hands ❤️
P.S.Picture of my middle son to make you smile 😜Have a nice day ❤️